the awful feeling inside of us.

what do you do, if a near friend is thinking about killing herself? What do you do?
Cause I don't know. But I wish I knew what to do, what to say.

I think everyone has had the feeling of wanting to give up life. Sometimes you are so down under, that a song can't
get you up again. Then you need a friend, a really good friend. I had a period where I felt that nobody liked me and
I really wanted to die, but I was too afraid to actually do it. I felt ugly when I looked in the mirror, I wasn't good aanything. In that time of my life, I had a good friend that helped me through the pain and made me believe in
myself again.

And now, I'm sad again. Not because of what I feel about myself! This time, the friend that helped me, has suicide
thoughts. She is so negative about herself and it's so hard for me to hear that this cute, nice and pretty girl would
think of such thing, and how she can hate herself this way.
Every day, when I haven't spoke to her, I think of the
worst things, I think that she is gone, and if she does it, I'm going to hate myself for not saving her.

Nobody can see when a person feels bad inside; nobody can understand exactly how they feel. I've seen her on
facebook, people writing things, and everything is just fine. But on the inside she is ripped apart, because she can
tell me these things, that no one else knows about, and that's why I need to help her. Because she chose me. I was
the one she could tell everything to, because the other friends could not know.

And do you want to know what the weird thing is? I have never met this girl in real life, we have never met. And still,
we can talk about everything, like we have been best friends since kindergarten or something. I feel like I know
her, and it's so easy to be yourself around her. I don't feel the same way with my friends at school. She is theonly
one I can truly trust, because she just know how I am when I write to her. I?m afraid that if she had known me in
real person, I would be disappointing and not worthy of knowing these things. Cause Mabye I am, but I love her
like I love my friends, even if she doesn?t feel the same.

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